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I was crushed, I was lost, I didn't know where to turn. ""I would if he had that much money.""Chile," he said, dropping the last d, "Money is like a big dick. "'Young candidates ages 18-25 screened by appointment only, at no charge.' Sounds perfect, sign me up.""Would you? "No thanks.""You don't know they're ugly.""Right.""Seriously. There could be some guys who are okay.""And do you want to go out with 'okay'? Even when we started dating, I knew I was taking a chance with breaking my never-date-an-actor rule; but maybe this guy wouldn't be as moody, self-absorbed and tortured as the rest of his movie-star pals. "Dating service for the discerning, successful gentleman..." It was a large display ad, with a picture of two lovely gentlemen smiling at each other over glasses of wine. " I showed Langston the ad."'Gay Millionaires Club,'" he proceeded to read aloud. I am not 25, and while my impeccable taste and keen sense of style may create an illusion otherwise, I do not have a million dollars.""You could lie and say you were young enough.""Just so I could go on a date with one of those old men who you know are ugly as sin? He arched his eyebrows at me as he stirred something into his fancy blended latte. A., and avoiding actors is like avoiding the palm trees. As I walked to our table, I grabbed the local gay paper, sat down and I turned to the personals."Gay Millionaires Club," said the ad.

Clearly I needed help breaking this habit."So go find a man with a job." Langston was looking at his drink. ""Because marriage for social advancement is destined to lead to a life of happiness?

He was still so busy fussing with it he hadn't actually tasted it yet."I'm just so tired of being the responsible one. And I'm not even that responsible." I looked at Langston, who didn't disagree with my statement. I think this sounds very healthy.""I'm not saying marry a man only for his money.

I decided to remember that, for some other day when I felt like getting mad at him. I just think if he did have money, it would be nice.""Yes, you say that now," Langston said, "but just like my mother says-you go looking to a man for a free ride, and you never worked so hard in your life.""What if I do like him? Apparently he hadn't considered this as a possibility. You're presuming I won't like the guys I'm set up with. And we're not even going to talk about what they look like.

There are millionaires in this world who are perfectly nice." I took a sip of coffee as punctuation."But do those millionaires sign up for the Gay Millionaires Club? You're going to go out with a man actually looking for someone only interested in his money?

""That's not what this is.""That's what it sounds like.

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