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I just broke up with my boyfriend of almost three years. He swore that he never actually met up and did anything physical with anybody; he had only exchanged messages. He asked me if I could find it in my heart to stay with him and give him a chance to fix himself and be a better man. He had always been honest with me, even when we discussed difficult subjects. I’m not the type of person who magically “knows” or dreams about marriage, but being with him made me start thinking about the possibility of marriage. One short description on the page sort of leaped out at me: In layman’s terms, that sounds like some serious shit. The one thing I can weigh in on with some measure of authority is this: You WILL fall in love again. You don’t seem to lack for attractive traits or self-esteem.

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Unfortunately, Zoe, your ex-boyfriend’s behavior is not anomalous; it’s chronic.

If anybody is going to give him a second chance, it’s going to have to be the next woman who finds out he’s a recovering sex addict.

As for you, I think you should get back out there, date a bunch of new guys, and see who surprises you.

My guess is that he’ll be everything that your previous boyfriend was – without the addiction and trust issues. It seems really scary that you could be with someone for three years and just now find this out. I ask all this because at 28, and having been single for many years, the next guy I get in a relationship with I would hope we are on a path to marry, I don’t have time anymore for deadends.

Good for her that she’s only 25, but what if she was 37 and looking to start a family only to discover such a deal breaker?

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