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In her new book, The Gaggle: How The Guys You Know Will Help You Find The Love You Want, Jessica Massa coins a new dating term every girl should know.Say hello to your gaggle: the group of guys already in your life that will lead you to Mr. Here's how it works..."Your gaggle is the group of guys who you might not be 'dating' or in a defined relationship with, but who fulfill some sort of need in your life," Massa explains."They are helping you figure out who you are, what you want, and what type of man you ultimately desire." These dudes can include The Hot Sex Prospect, The Career Booster, and The Ex-Boyfriend Who's Still Around.Let this be your new mantra: Everything and nothing is a date."You'll be missing out on all sorts of opportunities to connect with guys if you're simply waiting for them to ask you out," Massa says.Every interaction counts, from the conference room to G-chat to the soccer field.Start seeing technology as a useful tool to get to know guys better. Before you know it, your convos will be getting offline."Instead of trying to micromanage your love life, create open spots for men, planned or unplanned, to fill," Massa says. Until you do, a guy may not even realize you're into him.When you hear a song you think a guy would like, send it to him on Spotify. Next time you're buying concert tickets for a band you love, buy two—and don't immediately decide who gets to be your plus-one. The key is getting the guy out of a familiar context. That's what happened to one guy Massa interviewed who met his now-fiancé on a volleyball team.
Make yourself available to who you might meet and where the evening could take you."The more you're open to letting guys show you all the different sides of themselves, the more likely you'll surprise yourself and fall in love with one of them," Massa explains. Finally, you and The Prospective Boyfriend are doing something romantic that could lead to something serious.
Remember that he's already your friend, so there's a whole lot that he likes about you, Massa says. That means no crazy makeup or boob shirts when he's used to seeing you casual.
Go for subtly sexy instead..then rachet it up after a few dates.
In her research, Massa found that millennial men are still figuring out their futures, careers, and identity, and many don't want to make a move on their potential girlfriend until they have those things figured out. So, if he's good about keeping in touch and not treating you like a hook-up, keep this guy on the short list.
You can tell he's into you if he doesn't hit on your friends and always treats you with respect. He may just need one more promotion before he gets the guts to go for you.